Max just closed his laptop after a brutal weekly check-in with his boss. The entire conversation focused on Max’s performance: how he’s missing deadlines and turning in subpar work, and how it’s forcing other team members to pick up the slack. But instead of thinking of ways to improve, Max begins coming up with all the reasons his boss is wrong and to whom he can complain. How can he focus his attention on turning things around?
Negative feedback—even so-called “constructive” feedback—is highly stressful. When a manager tells us what we’re doing wrong or how to improve, our heart rate increases, our breathing quickens, and our thinking goes haywire. These are not conditions to do great work.
To sharpen our focus and improve our performance in the face of negative feedback, we need brain-friendly tools for calming our minds and bodies. The next time you receive negative feedback, here’s how you can quickly bounce back so you can formulate an action plan.
What negative feedback does to your brain
The stress we feel during and after a negative feedback conversation is a form of a threat state—in particular, a threat to our sense of status. The brain senses danger, so it shuts down precious cognitive resources and diverts energy toward worrying about our standing and reputation. Cognition and threat, therefore, work as a kind of seesaw. As one is high, the other necessarily is low.
